Circle of Life

Words that came out of my 12 yr old stepson's mouth:

Addressing his father and I - "Ride the horse. It is Father's Day."

Last Dance, My Ass!

Witness this graphic recently released by the government concerning marijuana use. If you take a look at Kentucky, you'll notice that mary jane use in our fair commonwealth is pretty light. Pretty light, that is, except for one little BRIGHT RED spot up top, on the banks of the mighty Ohio River. Guess what city that is, my friends? =) I also want to give a shout out to Alaskans, who are apparently the most laid back motherfuckers in all of the grand ol' U.S. of A. Saaaa-lute!

The Wisdom of Digital Underground

For some unspeakable reason, I found myself wondering whatever happened to the artists "Digital Underground" who hit the charts with that perpetually invasive song "Humpty Dance" oh so many years ago. Turns out they are still going strong, and have provided a slang dictionary to help us not-so-kool kats keep up with the times. Enjoy!

Twue Wuv

Today I saw a billboard for BP which read, "Win free gas for life!" I thought to myself, "But I already have a husband."

The Shizzolator

This is funny as hell, yo. Try reading this blog, or your own, SHIZZOLATED.

Yikes!

I am never borrowing a bike again.

My Blood Tastes Like Metal

Today, I removed a swollen taste bud. It was driving me nuts. I snipped it off my tongue with a pair of fingernail clippers. Has anyone else ever resorted to self-surgery to remove an errant body part?

Putting the Plural in "Monkey Pictures"

This is why I don't wear tank tops or shorts. Ever.

Monkey Picture

It's a monkey eating a popsicle.
This brings me joy.
Touch my monkey.

It's Fucking Christmas in June!

God, I love the news!



A team of Mexican dwarf bullfighters and a clown pose for a group photo at a small bullring in central Mexico, May 29, 2005. The Mexican 'dwarf bullfighters' are carrying on a tradition born in Spain along with regular bullfighting. They say the ring showcases their skill and comic artistry, making them more than just a curiosity.

I have a new goal in life. Must see dwarf matadors in action!!!

I Don't Need No Steenking Type!

I don't know my blood type. I suppose that's something rather important to find out, but I kind of like not knowing. I think the mystery keeps my relationship with myself fresh and exciting. ;)

Be thankful you don't have to live with me.

Dye Testing Anyone?

The order in which I eat Flav-R-Ice popsicles is as follows:

All of the Red.

All of the Blue.

All of the Green.

All of the Orange.

Then I leave the Purple in the bottom of the freezer until I am tired of looking at them and throw them away, or sell them to developing countries as weapons of mass destruction. "Of course plutonium is purple. Duh."

Age Old

America will outlive me, but only because euthanasia is illegal.

Dear Sweet Baby Jesus

It's education - 80's Style!

Prepare to spend a while on this one, folks.