Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I hope you Republicans like adoption A LOT

Contraception war

Polls show that one of the big issues influencing voters this year is the war in Iraq. But there's another war voters should be concerned about, too: the cultural and religious war centered on, of all things, birth control.

That may seem like a ridiculous statement. Birth control is such a common part of modern life.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that 98 percent of all American women who have had sexual relations have taken birth control. Yet there is pressure from social conservatives to do away with it, and that pressure is affecting public policy.

As Louisville's own Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, recently told The New York Times,
"I cannot imagine any development in human history, after the Fall, that has had a greater impact on human beings than the pill…. The pill gave incredible license to everything from adultery and affairs to premarital sex, and, within marriage, to a separation of the sex act and procreation."

Sometimes the arguments for restricting access to birth control are framed as arguments against abortion. Those opposed to contraception say a pregnancy begins at the moment of fertilization, and, therefore, anything that prevents a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus is an abortifacient, including birth control pills and IUDs.

Of course, that's not what the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists says. Its 49,000 members define pregnancy as beginning at the moment of implantation, the traditional medical view.

After all, even under ideal conditions, only half of all fertilized eggs attach themselves to the uterine wall. The ones that don't aren't considered dead souls. Also, a woman's body doesn't begin to nurture an egg until it is implanted in the womb.

There are many fronts in the birth-control war, including abstinence-only education and moves to let pharmacists refuse to dispense contraceptives. But the most obvious is over emergency contraception, or the Plan B "morning after pill." It's basically just a high-dose birth control pill.

Ignoring scientists and bowing to the anti-contraception forces, the Food and Drug Administration has refused to allow over-the-counter sales of Plan B.

In response, the College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists now is encouraging women to get prescriptions before they need them. Having Plan B on hand will "eliminate the logistical and political barriers that currently exist and make emergency conception largely inaccessible to women," the group says.

It is hard to imagine opposition to a pill that can prevent unwanted pregnancies and abortions.

But that's the weird war this country is in. Indeed, it's so weird that contraception is being depicted as damaging to marriages, instead of as a way for couples to responsibly shape their lives.

"By using contraception," says the director of the National Pro-Life Action Center, "(couples) are not allowing the fullness of their expression of love. To frustrate the procreative potential ends up harming the relationship." Dr. Mohler speaks similarly.

Well, America is a free country, and birth control is a choice: No one has to use it.

But married couples themselves should remain free to determine whether it helps or hurts "their expression of love."

Voters need to pay attention. This war isn't on the fringes anymore. It's being played out in capitals from Frankfort to Washington, D.C., as policies involving access to birth control change.

In the fall, voters should consider how they feel about this cultural war at home, as well as the distant one in Iraq.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Some Men Like Their Wimmins Big and Healthy


Lovesick swan falls in love with swan paddle boat


BERLIN (Reuters) - A swan has fallen in love with a plastic swan-shaped paddle boat on a pond in the German town of Muenster and has spent the past three weeks flirting with the vessel five times its size, a sailing instructor said Friday.

Peter Overschmidt, who operates a sailing school and rents the two-seat paddle boat on the Aasee pond, said the black swan with a bright red beak has not left the white swan boat's side since it flew in one day in early May.

"It seems like he's fallen in love," said Overschmidt. "He protects it, sits next to it all the time and chases away any sail boats that get anywhere nearby. He thinks the boat is a strong and attractive swan."

Overschmidt said the swan will figure it out sooner or later but hopes he won't be too heartbroken.

"I'll wish him all the best and hope that he doesn't make the same mistake again," said Overschmidt."

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

UK is involved, but this time it's not Kentucky.

Swiped from Virtual Pus. This makes me want to kill people.

Girl, 11, will be Britain's youngest mother
By IAN DRURY, Daily Mail 08:52am 12th May 2006

A girl is to become Britain's youngest mother after becoming pregnant at 11.

The girl smokes 20 cigarettes a day despite being eight months' pregnant. She conceived aged 11 when she lost her virginity to a boy of 15 on a drunken night out with friends.

The 15-year-old has since been charged with rape by police, and is due to appear again at Edinburgh sheriff court on July 10.

Her 34-year-old mother, who gave birth to her youngest child eight months ago, said she was 'proud' of her daughter.

She will be 12 years and 8 months when she has the child next month. Jenny Teague, Britain's youngest mother until now, was a month older when she gave birth in 1997.

The youngster, who lives near Edinburgh, says looking after her younger brothers has prepared her for motherhood.

But the girl admits she "panics and cries" when babies are unwell and does not feel able to bathe them.

The mother-to-be, who cannot be named for legal reasons, had unprotected sex with the teenage boy, who also cannot be identified, while drunk last August.

'Excited'

She told the Sun: "I didn't think I'd get pregnant because it was my first time. But I'm really excited and looking forward to being a mum.

"I can't wait to take the baby swimming and out for walks in the pram. I think I'll be able to cope as I've had lots of practice looking after my brothers.

"I know how to feed a baby its bottle and I can change nappies. But I panic and cry if they're sick and I don't like giving them a bath because I'm a bit frightened.

"It's good to know I'll have my mum here to help me if I need her."

Concerned she might be pregnant, the girl visited a GP three times but tests proved negative. She learned the truth after buying a home-testing kit from a supermarket.

After the device displayed two blue lines, indicating she was pregnant, she pleaded with a female relative to break the news to her mother. The girl, who has been suspended from her first year of secondary school for fighting, said: "I was paranoid about what my mum was going to say and just frightened about being pregnant too.

"I knew straight away that I couldn't have an abortion because that's something I don't believe in.

"I was upset and so was my mum, especially as she'd just had my wee brother. We had a big argument and I ended up locking myself in my room and running away to a friend's.

"It was really hard but it's brought me and my mum closer, which is good. I knew my mum would stand by me no matter what, but I told her straight away I was going to keep the baby.

"The social worker suggested I got rid of it but I'd never do that."

Smoking at nine


The girl, who has shoulder-length dark hair, began smoking at nine and started drinking tonic wine and vodka cocktails at ten. She claimed her cigarette habit was not harming the health of her unborn child.

She said: "I can give up smoking at any time, but I don't find it affects my pregnancy."

The girl, whose parents split up several years ago, said she would like a baby boy - and may call him Leo.

She is currently being educated at a local community centre but knows she must return to school.

She told the Sun: "My mum has said she will look after the baby so I can go to school. I don't know what I want to do with my life when I leave. I used to want to be a nursery nurse, but now I'm not so sure."

'Proud of my daughter'


Her mum said: "I'm not ashamed of my daughter at all - in fact, I'm proud of her for keeping the baby.

"I know she's worried what other people will say but she can walk out there with her head held high.

"At first I wasn't too happy about becoming a gran. But now I'm used to the idea. I'm really looking forward to having another baby in the house."

Monday, May 15, 2006

Putzmeister

I didn't make this shit up.

You know I want a Putzmeister Safety Orange Boom Pump Pocketed T-Shirt.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta

Well, chirrens. I have decided that it’s about high time I pursued my life long ambition of becoming a gangsta rapper.

My rap name will be Malfeezenz, and I will rap about the shit that goes down in the lives of my homies, the wealthy suburban wiggers.

We’re all mizunderstood, yo. It’s time someone rapped about our problems. Check this shit fo’ example.

What a total pain in the ass it is that they don’t sell FUBU at the Gap.

The fact that the kustom order spinners for my new Land Rover took TWO WEEKS to get here. Shouldn’t they have that shit in stock? They know how I roll.

The fact that you can’t get decent bling in Greek letters at the mall. How the hell can a brother give a proper shout out to my homies kickin’ it back at the frat house without sweet Greek bling, yo? Delta Chi in the hizz-ouse, mutha-fuckahs!

On a more serious note, I will also address social problems like racism. That’s right, we rich suburban wiggers is being discriminated against, ya’ll. I ain’t afraid to tell the truth. Here’s an example, if a brother from the ‘hood gets some gold teeth, he’s considered a bad muthafucka, but if a white boy gets him some gold teeth, everyone thinks he’s just a hillbilly with no dental plan. Yo bitches! I got me some dental plan! My Dad’s a dentist, with his own practice, ya haters! Sheeyit.

Well, I gotta run, but I hope you guys can make my first big gig. I’ll be playing at the mall in front of the new Aeropostale across from Abercrombie & Fitch. See you there, bitches!