This Will Make You Love Me Forever

Yes?

Chocolate Salty Balls

This is not an excerpt from South Park. This is actually being served in our cafeteria tomorrow.

Cafeteria Menu:
Meatloaf Muffins with Barbecue Sauce
Mashed Potatoes
Peas/Carrots

I don't know that I have ever come across a pairing of food terminology as horrific as "meatloaf muffins."

Disgraceful

This makes me want to kick Bush and Rumsfeld in the nuts, if only they had any.

This Is Pretty Damned Accurate

Kabir You two would probably really get along!

Not a religion founder in any true sense, instead felt that everyone should follow their own path to God. "There is nothing but water in the holy pools. I know, I have been swimming there. All the gods sculpted of wood or ivory can’t say a word. I know, I have been crying out to them. The Sacred Books of the East are nothing but words. I looked through their covers one day sideways. What I talk about is only what I have lived through. If you have not lived through something, it is not true."

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 69% on Intuitive You scored higher than 13% on Structured You scored higher than 4% on Mildness You scored higher than 28% on Traditional

Link: The Religion Founder You Resemble Test written by Stinkbot on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Walla Walla Bing Bang

Ugly kid or talented monkey?

Butt Munch

I don't know where this came from, but it cracks me up.

FUCK SALT!

No matter how bad your day has been, at least you're not this guy.

I highly recommend interview part 4.

NOT WORK SAFE

Karma

To toot my own horn, I'm getting a real kick out of the fact that YepRoc Records is linking to my dorky little website. If had known this would happen, God knows I would have made it look a bit more professional...

Something Good

So, does anyone remember the Utah Saints?

Natchrull

And the hamster shall lieth with the snake, and they shall have mutant snake-ster super babies. And the snakesters shall inherit the earth. Amen.

Happy Tuesday!

And I love you all.

This Cracks Me Up

Not the flaming mammal part, the other part...

Mouse Thrown Into Fire Sets Home Ablaze

FORT SUMNER, N.M. - A mouse got its revenge against a homeowner who tried to dispose of it in a pile of burning leaves. The blazing creature ran back to the man's house and set it on fire.

Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner said he caught the mouse inside his house and wanted to get rid of it.

"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," Mares said from a motel room Saturday.

Village Fire Chief Juan Chavez said the burning mouse ran to just beneath a window, and the flames spread up from there and throughout the house.

No was hurt inside, but the home and everything in it was destroyed.

Unseasonably dry and windy conditions have charred more than 53,000 acres and destroyed 10 homes in southeastern New Mexico in recent weeks.

"I've seen numerous house fires," village Fire Department Capt. Jim Lyssy said, "but nothing as unique as this one."

Lawks a Lordy!

I've been tagged by fellow geek corps member, Virtual Pus. Semper Pi, brother.

Here's me answers:

Four jobs they couldn’t pay you enough to do: Proctologist, Fox news reporter, Tonight Show with Jay Leno writer, McDonald's Manager.

Four movies you used to love and watched over and over to the point that now you have them memorized and the prospect of watching them again causes your eyeballs to bleed: Wayne's World, The Neverending Story, Stand By Me, The Secret of Nimh.

Alternatively, four movies you loved when you saw them in the theater but don’t dare watch again for fear they won’t hold up: Get Shorty, Star Wars episode 3, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Boogie Nights.

Four places in the United States you’ve always thanked no-God you don’t live even when you were living in a really small rathole in Kentucky and/or Indiana: Arkansas (whole damn state), Missouri (whole damn state), Mississippi (whole damn state), Levelland, Texas.

Four places you would like to visit on an extended vacation: New Zealand, Italy, The Galapagos Islands, Spain.

Four TV shows you are strangely tempted to watch but have so far resisted: Sex and the City, The Amazing Race, The Sopranos, Entourage.

Four Websites that aren’t on your blogroll that you visit daily: Yahoo!, iWon (I need the money), Go Fug Yourself, the Courier-Journal.

Four foods you don’t really like and can’t understand why you eat them but you eat them anyway and feel bad about it afterwards: McDonald's breakfast food, free cookies at work, buttery movie popcorn (it's a love/hate thing), fast food burgers.

Four albums you never listen to anymore but can’t bring yourself to trade in at Tower Records: Biohazard - "Urban Discipline", Life of Agony - "River Runs Red" and "Ugly", Shonen Knife - "Rock Animals."

Four places you’d rather be but sadly won’t be any time soon: Spain, Hawaii, Italy, Cozumel.

And now for the tagging. I see you running, bitches, but Mr. Caratzas, DrChingasa, Old Man Cissy, and Bomo were just too slow. TAG!