Member's Only Plan for World Domination

Somehow, perhaps via pod intrusion, a Member's Only jacket made its way into our lives. This particular offender joined our family disguised as a fashionable hoodless parka. We were unaware of the manufacturer at the time of purchase, we just bought it because it was a nice fit on the Old Man. For years this abomination went undetected in our home, until this week when I noticed the label tucked away inside. As I recoiled in horror and screeched the name, the Old Man's face flushed with overwhelming embarrassment. It seems that these MO people have an intricate plan laid out to sneak into the closets of the same folks who loved them so dearly in the '80's, but whose taste has come of age. I assume the next logical step involves mind-control circuitry and sperm demotivating electrodes to enforce eugenics. Plans are underway to replace the offending garment, and we hope that all other unsuspecting victims and acknowledged offenders can find the means to do the same.