If Only It Were True...

Swiped from Virtual Pus:

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 90% Green Lantern 85% Iron Man 70% Catwoman 60% Batman 60% Supergirl 57% Spider-Man 50% Wonder Woman 47% Robin 45% Hulk 25% The Flash 20%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

If You Are Not Outraged, You Are Not Paying Attention

Note to Bush supporters: Here's another dead baby, courtesy of an aimless and pointless occupation, with no end in sight. Bush has fucked up, but hasn't the balls to admit it, nor to do anything about it.



BAQUBA, Iraq (Reuters) - U.S. troops opened fire on a crowded minivan north of Baghdad on Monday, fearing a car bomb attack, and killed at least three members of the same family, including a child, the U.S. military and survivors said.

The U.S. army's 3rd Infantry Division confirmed the incident, saying its troops had opened fire after first trying to wave the minivan to a stop and then firing warning shots.

"This is a tragedy," said Major Steve Warren, a spokesman for U.S. forces in Baquba, near where the shooting occurred.

Warren said three people -- two men and a child -- were killed and three were wounded, but the survivors disputed that, saying five members of the family, including two children, were killed and four were wounded.

One of the survivors told Reuters the family was traveling from Balad, a town about 80 km (50 miles) north of Baghdad, to the nearby city of Baquba for a funeral when they were shot at by a U.S. patrol as it approached them on the road.

"As we tried to move over to one side to let them pass, they opened fire," one survivor said. None of them would give their names but said the head of the family was a Mohammed Kamel.

Warren said the incident occurred near a U.S. military forward operating base as vehicles were entering the camp. He said U.S. troops frequently set up impromptu roadblocks in such cases and force all nearby vehicles to come to a halt.

The U.S. military took the minivan away immediately after the incident, Iraqi police and the U.S. army said.

Reuters television footage showed two dead children in a morgue in Baquba and relatives kissing another dead body on a morgue trolley. One child's head appeared to have been been blown off.

"They are all children. They are not terrorists," shouted a relative. "Look at the children," he said as a morgue official carried a small dead child into a refrigeration room.

"We felt bullets hitting the car from behind and from in front," said another survivor with blood running from a wound to his head and splattered on his shirt. "Heads were blown off. One child had his hand shot off," he said.

Of those wounded, two were women and one was another child, the survivors said. The U.S. military said two men and one woman were among the wounded.

U.S. troops are frequently accused by Iraqis of shooting at civilian vehicles at checkpoints and roadblocks. At the same time, U.S. troops are attacked every day by car bombers in civilian vehicles who race at U.S. patrols or roadblocks.

Less than two hours after the shooting, a U.S. convoy was attacked by a car bomber in the same area, Warren said.

The U.S. military says it does everything it can to ensure it does not fire on civilians, although it has also admitted in the past to accidentally killing civilians at roadblocks.

To avoid the possibility of being fired on, most Iraqis pull over to the side of the road when U.S. convoys approach.

The convoys generally travel with signs in Arabic telling people to stay back or away and warning them that deadly force will be used if they get too close.

It wasn't clear if the U.S. troops involved in Monday's shooting had erected signs telling vehicles to stop.

Do What Now?

Have you ever put on so much deoderant that you actually cause yourself to believe you have on none because your underarms feel kinda damp? Then you step into an elevator and it smells like roses and pizza, all the while not noticing the figure creeping up behind you, knife raised, stayed from his gruesome desires by the quickly closing elevator door. Bing! And that sound. That wretched sound. MU-ZAK? What the hell is it? Daydream Believer? Rape Me by Nirvana? The theme from Shaft? You feel your breakfast creeping up, getting on deck, preparing for launch, but then, just as you are about to yodel groceries, the door opens. You bolt towards your office like Tammy Faye rushing the Clinique counter on free sample day. Must-have-little-velvet-bag! Speaking of bag, you set yours, clinking and heavy with varied detritus and cough drop wrappers and a starlight mint that you will never eat, by your desk. You dig around in it to see what all the fuss is about. Why do I have these rubber gloves, a roll of wax paper, and some Jesus candles? And did I put on deoderant today?

I Know Where I'm Goin'

Nursing home keeps spirits up with own pub

DUBLIN (Reuters) - A nursing home in Ireland has hit on a cheering way to keep up the spirits of its elderly patients -- by providing its own pub.

St Mary's Hospital in County Monaghan, near the Irish border with Northern Ireland, believes ready access to a good pint may help its patients -- average age 85 -- actually live longer.

"We would say the whole social aspect of life does extend the years -- it means the patients aren't bored to death," Rose Mooney, assistant director of nursing told Reuters.

The pub, which opens at 11 a.m. and closes at 9 p.m. and charges normal bar prices, had also led to an increase in the number of visitors, she said.

Having its own bar made the hospital, which has around 140 patients, unique in Ireland, she added.

Saturday Morning Constitutional

Deepak Chopra: Conservatism Could Be Compassionate. Why Isn't It?

I feel confused over why "compassionate conservatism" turned out to be so much the opposite of compassionate. As an excluded minority without power, one could understand the frustration of conservatives during the long reign of the Democrats. But they are hardly excluded any more. The Presidency has gone Republican five times since 1980, and both houses of Congress are firmly Republican. With all this breathing room and so much power gained, why is conservatism still so mean?

One answer might be that conservatives enjoy being angry, that it fuels their policies. The conservative revolution needed enemies. If you are politically at odds with those who you think are bringing down society--liberals, blacks, the poor, Muslims, pro-abortion groups, gays, non-fundamentalists, and feminists, your animus could be sanitized. You could turn it into social policy. We hear about right-wing think tanks who specialize in providing philosophical cover for so much mean-spirited activity.

But anger is still anger once the disguise is dropped. So is corruption. So is political bad faith, such as defaming your opponents and vilifying them as godless simply because they hold opinions different from yours. Whether conservatives believe their own rhetoric or not, they haven't faced the fact that the mainstream of humane belief is liberal, and for good reason. The word liberal has been successfully spun ("Card-carrying liberal" has become the equivalent of "card-carrying Communist") but what the word liberal means, if one consults the dictionary, is "marked by generosity," "not literal or strict," "broadminded, not marked by authoritarianism or orthodoxy"--the overwhelming connotation is positive.

When he first appeared, one hoped that Pres. Bush wanted some of this glow for himself, and that's why he branded himself a compassionate conservative. Obviously he didn't succeed. Americans who fall into those groups I already mentioned--blacks, the poor, gays, non-fundamentalists, etc.--don't feel compassionately dealt with. Quite the opposite. There are times when Bush is not the worst of his breed, but too many conservatives seem to live in a reverse mirror: they are proud of their intolerance, authoritarianism, and selfishness. They even have a God who loves them for it.

I say all this out of genuine confusion, because although it's healthy for a country to have diverse opinions, it's extremely unhealthy--and hard to comprehend, really--for anyone to go through the reverse mirror. America is profoundly a liberal society in every sense that matters.

Or has the reverse mirror distorted us that much?

Click: www.intentblog.com

Armageddon is Nigh

And then the 6th seal was broken by the seven-eyed lamb of Judea, and the Lord spaketh unto Fox network executives and did demand the smiting of the wondrous creation known hitherto as "Arrested Development."

Fuck.

Pouting You Not Better Be

It's Just A Flesh Wound

Should the game Army Dodge now be called National Guard Dodge?

A Few Bad Ideas

Dressing asthmatic children as Darth Vader for Halloween. Wheezing? Vader breathing? Who can tell?

Playing McGod and trying to make a McEve with a McRib.

Compassionate Conservatism.

Stirrup pants. If you're not wearing a saddle, leave the stirrups at home, Aunt Bee.

Aunt Bee wearing a saddle.

Pissed Pussy

Cuz sometimes we all rage a little...

Things That Aren't As Gross As They Sound

Organ Grinder
Toe Head
Bottom Feeder
Wide Receiver
Matriculation
Le Toit (pronounced "twat")
Epiglottis
Fresca