Spam alot

I hate to admit it, but my spam almost has me convinced to refinance my Russian bride's penis in Nigeria...

He's the reason for the season

Ghost Of Barbaro Appears To Teach Nation True Meaning Of Barbaro Day

LOUISVILLE, KY—Exactly one year to the day after Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro was tragically taken from us before his time, an apparition of the beloved racehorse appeared in the morning sky to teach Americans from all walks of life about the true...

Chinaski Tuesdays

Yes Yes

when God created love he didn't help most
when God created dogs He didn't help dogs
when God created plants that was average
when God created hate we had a standard utility
when God created me He created me
when God created the monkey He was asleep
when He created the giraffe He was drunk
when He created narcotics He was high
and when He created suicide He was low

when He created you lying in bed
He knew what He was doing
He was drunk and He was high
and He created the mountains and the sea and fire at the same time

He made some mistakes
but when He created you lying in bed
He came all over His Blessed Universe.

8 word poem

What I learned that one time I watched Dr. Who

A boot print
doesn't
look like
a foot.

This also makes me happy

To my fellow crackers, let's commiserate in our blandness.

Stuff white people like.

Chinaski Tuesdays

My Groupie

I read last Saturday in the
redwoods outside of Santa Cruz
and I was about 3/4's finished
when I heard a long high scream
and a quite attractive
young girl came running toward me
long gown & divine eyes of fire
and she leaped up on the stage
and screamed: "I WANT YOU!
I WANT YOU! TAKE ME! TAKE
ME!"
I told her, "look, get the hell
away from me."
but she kept tearing at my
clothing and throwing herself
at me.
"where were you," I
asked her, "when I was living
on one candy bar a day and
sending short stories to the
Atlantic Monthly?"
she grabbed my balls and almost
twisted them off. her kisses
tasted like shitsoup.
2 women jumped up on the stage
and
carried her off into the
woods.
I could still hear her screams
as I began the next poem.
mabye, I thought, I should have
taken her on stage in front
of all those eyes.
but one can never be sure
whether it's good poetry or
bad acid.

My new most favorite thing ever!!!

I LOVE THIS MAN.

Happy v-day, fuckers!

This is how I show my love. Deal with it. :)

8 word poem

Once
you're in heaven,
who
needs
to fly?

Chinaski Tuesdays

I met a genius

I met a genius on the train
today
about 6 years old,
as he sat beside me
and as the train
ran down along the coast
we came to the ocean
and then he looked at me
and said,
it's not pretty

it was the first time I'd
realized
that.

- Charles Bukowski

A Plea To The Left Blogosphere For Aid Help For The Mid-South...

From the site of Southern blogger, Monkeyfister.

I deeply appreciate the fast response from SO many of you wonderful souls.

Here's what I sent out...

Whilst we're waiting for George's Promised Prayers to roll in, down here in the Tornado-Stricken Mid-South, I might recommend some DIRECT HUMAN INTERACTION.

This Is My Best First Start To Help My Region.

As Scout Prime is to NOLA, I am, suddenly, to the Mid-South area (I LIVE here, and was Live-Blogging these horrible storms all night), and have started to get the help-ball rolling down here. Some of you know where I work. I started a Food Drive there today for the Mid-South United Way Food Bank.

As the area affected is so broad and detached, and everyone in the Country was distracted by politics last night, as yet, there is no central assistance hub set-up. So, at the link, above, you'll find the two agencies with the broadest radius to help the area right now. Both take DIRECT donations.

A small-blog swarm on that post (or this comment) would be greatly appreciated by more people than just me. I can't describe how wide-spread the damage is down here. It's enormous. The Media, per usual, is only just now waking up to the situation, after their Super-Duper-Let's-All-Wet-Our-Pants-Together- Tuesday Political Hangover. Like NOLA, these are REALLY poor folks down here, and have nothing, and nowhere to go.

A short post about this at YOUR Blog, linking either to my post, above, or directly to the two Orgs mentioned in the post above, would sure be a big help, and would be greatly appreciated by many people who are relying on help. They are all that we have right now.

I just donated a deer's worth of ground venison, along with the 100 pounds of rice and quart-sized ziplock bags that they said that they needed at the United Way Mid-South Food Bank, when I phoned them this morning. Their pantry is BARE, and I'll be loading them up with all the potatoes, rice, veggies, bags, and other staples that I can fit in my truck tomorrow.

This is serious Red State country, and a flood of help from the DFH Left would REALLY make a big difference in a number of good ways.

I thank you all in advance.

Your humble peer,

Monkeyfister

Super Make-Up Chinaski

To all the amazing and talented artists in Louisville,

I humbly apologize on behalf of people who should know better, but obviously don't. Once again, the Derby poster is complete ass, created by someone from out of state. This interpretation of the greatest two minutes in sports comes from some dude in New Mexico. He considers this piece an exciting abstract vision of all the great events that happen during Derby time. He sucks.

Once again, I'm sorry you all. Louisville could get something so much better from one of its own, and I am unsure why this fact keeps getting overlooked in favor of these refried slices of 80's craziness.