I'm feeling all motivated and confident now.

Thank you, Mr. Cera, actor and professional athlete.

Again, um, wow.

I had only heard of the stupidity of Britney Spears, without ever seeing it firsthand. Now that I have, thanks to these videos, I am angry as hell that she's a millionaire. Truly. America is a fucking joke.

Um. Wow.

And I thought transforming myself into Magnum P.I. was quite the trick...

If only I had been born a bomb

The comments to the articles in my local paper, The Courier-Journal, consistently enrage and depress me. They make we want to go out in a city-engulfing blaze of glory.

But I think I'll just take a nap instead.

Lucky morons.