Laughing just to keep from crying

Sometimes...

I stub my toe and face the "nanosecond of reckoning." The one where you know this is gonna hurt like a sonofabitch as soon as the neuroblast of pain hits the brain stem.

I bite the inside of my lip really hard while chewing gum, causing my mouth to bleed thereby leaving me with bloody gum. Ew.

I find myself speeding along listening to a great driving song only to catch a glimpse of a cop in my rear view. At said moment, my phantom balls slowly creep up into my stomach. Good thing my phantom balls never itch.

I enjoy listening to Journey.

I get angry at my shoes if they don't tie right the first time. I curse at them violently. This only occurs in the morning.

I put deoderant on mosquito bites to relieve the itching. A lady at work suggested I do this. I fear it may have been a horrible farce to get me to coat myself in deoderant.

I fear that Bush will win. I hear Mexico is lovely this time of year.

I feel like I miss something, but I haven't a clue what it is.