Rooney Eats It

Well chirrens, it took me over 20 years, but I have finally achieved Sloan Peterson hair. I have solved the complex ratios of hair length to product viscosity to blowdrying skills. Now, I can finally marry Ferris. Good thing too, because my best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavours last night. I guess it's pretty serious, so I'd better hurry up. Wish us luck on Venus!