Pony Rides and Monkey Pictures

Things I learned recently

2008-12-23T12:16:00.002-05:00

My Mamaw's favorite song to dance to was "Johnny Be Good."

My Mom is a life-long rockabilly fan, and I never knew till this weekend.

I inherited my inability to distinguish my left from my right from my mother.

Clothes dryer technology has come a long way since 1962.

That is all. :)

The Danger Zone

2008-11-28T14:34:00.002-05:00

To all you vapid ignorant fucks - All you mindless stupid fucking sheeple who trampled a man to death to get into a fucking WAL-MART. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. I hope you fucking choke to death on someone else's fucking vomit. I wish to God you'd all go to prison for murder to be raped brutally in the showers until further notice. I hope your fucking DVD player was worth it, you waste of fucking carbon.

Fuck you. Shove your holiday up your ass.

Because I haven't blogged in a while

2008-11-18T10:49:00.000-05:00

Yes We Can! Yes We Can!

2008-11-04T11:06:00.000-05:00

Vote for Obama: Let's Rebuild America Together

2008-11-03T15:21:00.002-05:00

A dear friend asked today for 10 reasons why she should vote for Obama. I put a great deal of work into the document, so I decided to share the fruits of my labor with everyone. I feel very strongly about this chance we have to make America better. It will be, by far, the most important vote I have ever cast.

It was very hard to narrow it down, but here are some things that are extremely important to me. Obama’s plans for tackling each issue strike me as thorough and well laid out. The man has vision, and I think America has a lot to gain from leadership we aren’t embarrassed by.

1. Barack Obama has the intellect, natural talent and charisma to communicate effectively to the entire world, bring people together, change the status quo and move our country forward. It’s time for us to stop being the laughingstock of the industrialized world. We are not a nation of Yosemite Sams. Obama and Biden will renew American diplomacy to meet the challenges of the 21st century. They will rebuild our alliances. And they would be willing to meet with all nations, friend and foe, to advance American interests.

2. Barack Obama is committed to universal health care by the end of his first term. Obama and Biden will require coverage of preventive services, including cancer screenings, and will increase state and local preparedness for terrorist attacks and natural disasters. The Obama plan will lower health care costs by $2,500 for a typical family by investing in health information technology, prevention and care coordination. Obama and Biden will allow the federal government to negotiate for lower drug prices for the Medicare program. They also support allowing seniors to import safe prescription drugs from overseas. They will reduce waste in the Medicare system and will tackle fundamental healthcare reform.

3. Joe Biden is a competent and experienced running mate. Sarah Palin flat out is NOT. Biden is a leader who has worked for decades in Washington, but takes the train home everyday to take care of his family. An expert on foreign policy, whose heart and values are firmly rooted in the middle class; one who has stared down dictators, and spoken for America's cops and firefighters. He is uniquely suited to serve as Barack Obama’s partner in the urgent mission to bring about the change America needs to put our country back on track.

4. Obama has sponsored, co-sponsored and advocated for significant and realistic legislation to end global warming by capturing and safely disposing carbon dioxide, raising vehicle fuel economy standards and replacing petroleum with home-grown biofuels like cellulosic ethanol.

5. Obama has the broadest base of supporters, has not accepted PAC money and is the least compromised by big money special interests, unlike McCain. No political appointees in an Obama-Biden administration will be permitted to work on regulations or contracts directly and substantially related to their prior employer for two years. And no political appointee will be able to lobby the executive branch after leaving government service during the remainder of the administration. Obama and Biden will fight for an independent watchdog agency to oversee the investigation of congressional ethics violations.

6. Barack Obama will provide a tax cut for working families. Obama and Biden will restore fairness to the tax code and provide 95 percent of working Americans the tax relief they need. They will create a new "Making Work Pay" tax credit of up to $500 per person, or $1,000 per working family.

7. Obama will reward companies that support American workers. Barack Obama introduced the Patriot Employer Act of 2007 with Senators Richard Durbin (D-IL) and Sherrod Brown (D-OH) to reward companies that create good jobs with good benefits for American workers. The legislation would provide a tax credit to companies that maintain or increase the number of full-time workers in America relative to those outside the US; maintain their corporate headquarters in America if it has ever been in America; pay decent wages; prepare workers for retirement; provide health insurance; and support employees who serve in the military.

8. Obama will invest in a clean energy economy and create 5 million new green jobs. Obama and Biden will invest $150 billion over 10 years to advance the next generation of biofuels and fuel infrastructure, accelerate the commercialization of plug-in hybrids, promote development of commercial scale renewable energy, invest in low emissions coal plants, and begin transition to a new digital electricity grid. The plan will also invest in America's highly-skilled manufacturing workforce and manufacturing centers to ensure that American workers have the skills and tools they need to pioneer the first wave of green technologies that will be in high demand throughout the world.

9. Obama will make college affordable to all Americans. Obama and Biden will create a new American Opportunity Tax Credit worth $4,000 in exchange for community service. It will cover two-thirds the cost of tuition at the average public college or university and make community college tuition completely free for most students.

10. Obama will rebuild the military for 21st century tasks instead of leaving our troops hanging out to dry underequipped and with no real strategic direction. Obama and Biden will complete the effort to increase our ground forces by 65,000 soldiers and 27,000 Marines. They will also invest in 21st century missions like counterinsurgency by building up our special operations forces, civil affairs, information operations, foreign language training and other units and capabilities that remain in chronic short supply. Barack Obama and Joe Biden will require the Pentagon and State Department to develop a strategy for determining when contracting makes sense, rather than continually handing off governmental jobs to well-connected companies. An Obama-Biden administration will create the transparency and accountability needed for good governance. Finally, it will establish the legal status of contractor personnel, making possible prosecution of any abuses committed by private military contractors. Obama and Biden will restore the government's ability to manage contracts by rebuilding our contract officer corps. They will order the Justice Department to prioritize prosecutions that will punish and deter fraud, waste and abuse.

This is utterly unforgivably insane

2008-10-27T18:03:00.002-04:00

It is so deeply saddening to know that hatred like this not only exists, but that it's organized and funded, too. Fucking sickening.

Assassination plot targeting Obama disrupted
By LARA JAKES JORDAN, Associated Press Writer Lara Jakes Jordan, Associated Press

WASHINGTON – Law enforcement agents have broken up a plot by two neo-Nazi skinheads to assassinate Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama and shoot or decapitate 88 black people, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco Firearms and Explosives said Monday.

In court records unsealed Monday in U.S. District Court in Jackson, Tenn., federal agents said they disrupted plans to rob a gun store and target a predominantly African-American high school in a murder spree that was to begin in Tennessee. Agents said the skinheads did not identify the school by name.

Jim Cavanaugh, special agent in charge of ATF's Nashville field office, said the two men planned to kill 88 people, including 14 African-Americans by beheading. The numbers 88 and 14 are symbolic in the white supremacist community.

The men also sought to go on a national killing spree after the Tennessee murders, with Obama as its final target, Cavanaugh told The Associated Press.

"They said that would be their last, final act — that they would attempt to kill Sen. Obama," Cavanaugh said. "They didn't believe they would be able to do it, but that they would get killed trying."

An Obama spokeswoman traveling with the senator in Pennsylvania had no immediate comment.

The men, Daniel Cowart, 20, of Bells, Tenn., and Paul Schlesselman 18, of Helena-West Helena, Ark., are being held without bond. Agents seized a rifle, a sawed-off shotgun and three pistols from the men when they were arrested. Authorities alleged the two men were preparing to break into a gun shop to steal more.

The two men were arrested Oct. 22 by the Crockett County, Tenn., Sheriff's Office. "Once we arrested the defendants and suspected they had violated federal law, we immediately contacted federal authorities," said Crockett County Sheriff Troy Klyce.

Attorney Joe Byrd, who has been hired to represent Cowart, did not immediately return a call seeking comment Monday. Messages left on two phone numbers listed under Cowart's name were not immediately returned.

No telephone number for Schlesselman in Helena-West Helena could be found immediately.

Cowart and Schlesselman are charged with possessing an unregistered firearm, conspiring to steal firearms from a federally licensed gun dealer, and threatening a candidate for president.

The investigation is continuing, and more charges are possible, Cavanaugh said.

The court records say Cowart and Schlesselman also bought nylon rope and ski masks to use in a robbery or home invasion to fund their spree, during which they allegedly planned to go from state to state and kill people.

For the Obama plot, the legal documents show, Cowart and Schlesselman "planned to drive their vehicle as fast as they could toward Obama shooting at him from the windows."

"Both individuals stated they would dress in all white tuxedos and wear top hats during the assassination attempt," the court complaint states. "Both individuals further stated they knew they would and were willing to die during this attempt."

Cavanaugh said there's no evidence — so far — that others were willing to assist Cowart and Schlesselman with the plot.

He said authorities took the threats very seriously.

"They seemed determined to do it," Cavanaugh said. "Even if they were just to try it, it would be a trail of tears around the South."

The court documents say the two men met about a month ago on the Internet and found common ground in their shared "white power" and "skinhead" philosophy.

The numbers 14 and 88 are symbols in skinhead culture, referring to a 14-word phrase attributed to an imprisoned white supremacist: "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children" and to the eighth letter of the alphabet, H. Two "8"s or "H"s stand for "Heil Hitler."

Helena-West Helena, on the Mississippi River in east Arkansas' Delta, is in one of the nation's poorest regions, trailing even parts of Appalachia in its standard of living. Police Chief Fred Fielder said he had never heard of Schlesselman.

However, the reported threat of attacking a school filled with black students worried Fielder. Helena-West Helena, with a population of 12,200, is 66 percent black. "Predominantly black school, take your pick," he said.

Associated Press writers Erik Schelzig in Nashville, Tenn., and Jon Gambrell in Little Rock, Ark., contributed to this report.

Friday Night Adventure

2008-10-27T14:22:00.003-04:00

Here is a pictorial of my field trip Friday night to the Southgate House in Newport, KY to see Jonathon Richman in honor of the Crippler's bday.
The show was lovely and the company was delightfully silly.

On the road, eating blue food:

And the resulting malcolored tongue:

Eating at the Hofbrauhaus is yummy:

Especially when the beers start making out (thanks Crippler!):

At the liquor store we learned that the long awaited Attic Boyz album is about to drop. Yay for Back to the Future: The Mix Tape!

On to the show!

Inexplicable scribbling on the potty wall:

A stop at White Castle on the way back was not pictorially documented, but will persist in memory thanks to the way the cashier so robustly yelled "fish nibbler!!!"

Added bonus: Me getting my hairs did on Saturday morning...

Yes We Can!

2008-10-24T15:31:00.001-04:00

That's how we co-roll-a

2008-10-20T11:06:00.003-04:00

Quoting from the Old Man's blog:

So no thanks to a lady who failed to stop at her stop sign, I totaled the brand-new Yaris. I went to replace it this weekend and decided to upgrade for 2 reasons.

One - ABS, which was not standard on the Yaris and
Two - automatic windows and door locks.

So on that note, welcome the new ride, a 2009 Corolla LE (not actual photo above)...still a gas sipper, better quality, comfort and safety features for just a few more bucks.

At least it's good for something

2008-10-16T17:18:00.000-04:00

Disco tune "Stayin' Alive" could save your life

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. doctors have found the Bee Gees 1977 disco anthem "Stayin' Alive" provides an ideal beat to follow while performing chest compressions as part of CPR on a heart attack victim.

The American Heart Association calls for chest compressions to be given at a rate of 100 per minute in cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). "Stayin' Alive" almost perfectly matches that, with 103 beats per minute.

CPR is a lifesaving technique involving chest compressions alone or with mouth-to-mouth rescue breathing. It is used in emergencies such as cardiac arrest in which a person's breathing or heartbeat has stopped.

CPR can triple survival rates, but some people are reluctant to do it in part because they are unsure about the proper rhythm for chest compressions. But research has shown many people do chest compressions too slowly during CPR.

In a small study headed by Dr. David Matlock of the University of Illinois College of Medicine at Peoria, listening to "Stayin' Alive" helped 15 doctors and medical students to perform chest compressions on dummies at the proper speed.

Five weeks after practicing with the music playing, they were asked to perform CPR again on dummies by keeping the song in their minds, and again they kept up a good pace.

"The theme 'Stayin' Alive' is very appropriate for the situation," Matlock said in a telephone interview on Thursday. "Everybody's heard it at some point in their life. People know the song and can keep it in their head."

The findings will be presented this month at a meeting of the American College of Emergency Physicians in Chicago.

(Writing by Will Dunham; Editing by David Storey)

Speaking of ending badly...

2008-10-15T00:57:00.002-04:00

We're screwed

2008-10-10T10:37:00.001-04:00

This cannot end well...

8 word poem: The Pop Culture Tome-let

2008-10-09T13:06:00.001-04:00

I am tired
of my past
being savaged.

McCain won't shake hands with a black dude

2008-10-08T09:02:00.000-04:00

Funny videos for a weird day

2008-10-07T23:14:00.002-04:00

So you have to ask

2008-10-04T10:56:00.001-04:00

In her estimation, was it a pretty good day?

This undated mug shot released by the Middletown, Ohio, police department shows Michelle Allen, 32. Allen was arrested Sept. 27, 2008 after she allegedly impeded traffic, urinated on a neighbor's porch and chased children while wearing a cow suit, according to a Middletown police report.
(AP Photo/Middletown Ohio Police department via Dayton Daily News)

Things that get stuck in my head - Part 2

2008-10-03T10:44:00.003-04:00

When Upbringings Strike Back

P.S. I love having satellite radio in my vehicle. My favorite feature is the info button. Most folks probably use it to find out more about a song they like. I however use it when a song really sucks so I can know who to hate. It's my little XM witch hunt. Thanks to XM I know to direct my rage at such fuckwits as Jack's Mannequin. Hey Jack's Mannequin, you suck!

Thank you XM! :)

Things that get stuck in my head - Part 1

2008-10-02T11:33:00.002-04:00

STAND UP AND TAKE THE BLAME BUSH-ITE ASSHOLES

2008-09-30T16:28:00.001-04:00

I am tired of hearing the current administration and its supporters try to pin the blame for the current financial crisis on anyone but themselves, the very motherfuckers, who when trusted with the fate of this nation, turned it to shit. Now they want to blame gay people? Are you fucking serious?

Fundamentalists blame Wall Street's woes on gays

by On Top Magazine

Christian fundamentalists are suggesting gays and lesbians are to blame for Wall Street's woes, a frequently made charge in the wake of national calamities.

In a September 25th blog post titled 'The Nation Will Right Itself If It Fixes Sex', Christian Civil League of Maine Executive Director Michael Heath writes that the financial crisis facing Wall Street is a symptom of America's sinful sexual culture, including the acceptance of gay unions.

“Our crisis is a symptom, not the cause,” writes Michael Heath. “I am not saying I know whether this financial crisis is God's judgment or not. It is not for me to know that definitively.”

Heath goes on to list policy changes that would make God “crack a smile,” including: End abortion rights and defund non-profit groups supporting it, amend state constitutions to ban gay marriage and eliminate domestic partnerships and civil unions for gay and lesbian couples, and end discrimination against private religious schools and homeschools.

A related post by Center for Immigration Studies Executive Director Mark Krikorian at the National Review's website pushes a similar theme, this time focusing on Friday's failure of WaMu.

Krikorian suggests the big bank failed because it was too accommodating to minorities, including gays, African-Americans and Hispanics.

In his September 26th post titled 'Cause and Effect?', Krikorian writes, “I really thought this was a joke, but it's not. WaMu's final press release, before it sank beneath the waves.”

The press release lists the general accomplishments of WaMu in diversifying its workforce, including earning a perfect score on the Human Rights Campaign's Corporate Equality Index – a rating indicative of the gay-friendliness of a company's official policies.

“Diversity is an integral part of cultivating a welcoming, innovative and dynamic workplace here at WaMu,” the release reads. “We are proud to be recognized for the opportunities and benefits we offer to all our employees, including the specific efforts we have made to engage Hispanics and the GLBT [gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender] community.”

Blaming gays and lesbians for disasters big and small is nothing new.

Fred Phelps, the founder of the Westboro Baptist Church, blamed gays and lesbians for hurricane Katrina, the deadliest and costliest hurricane in U.S. history that led to years of dystopia in New Orleans. “New Orleans, symbol of America, seen for what it is: a putrid, toxic, stinking cesspool of fag fecal matter. ... Pray for more dead bodies floating on the fag-semen-rancid waters of New Orleans.”

And in 2001 televangelists Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson blamed terrorists attacks on New York's World Trade Center and the Pentagon (the 9/11 attacks) at least in part on gays and lesbians.

I can't believe this was allowed to happen

2008-09-25T21:38:00.002-04:00

When Celine Dion dances, she looks like a skeleton trying to fuck an apple.

It looks like I killed that chicken for nothing

2008-09-25T11:27:00.001-04:00

Palin once blessed to be free from 'witchcraft'

By GARANCE BURKE, Associated Press Writer Thu Sep 25, 12:27 AM ET

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - A grainy YouTube video surfaced Wednesday showing Sarah Palin being blessed in her hometown church three years ago by a Kenyan pastor who prayed for protection from "witchcraft" as she prepared to seek higher office.

The video shows Palin standing before Bishop Thomas Muthee in the pulpit of the Wasilla Assembly of God church, holding her hands open as he asked Jesus Christ to keep her safe from "every form of witchcraft."

"Come on, talk to God about this woman. We declare, save her from Satan," Muthee said as two attendants placed their hands on Palin's shoulders. "Make her way my God. Bring finances her way even for the campaign in the name of Jesus. ... Use her to turn this nation the other way around."

Palin formally announced her bid for governor a few months later, in October 2005.

Palin does not say anything on the video and keeps her head bowed throughout the blessing. The Republican vice presidential candidate was baptized at the church but stopped attending regularly in 2002.

A spokesman for the McCain campaign declined to comment. A person who answered the phone at the Wasilla church confirmed the video was from May 2005 but declined further comment.

Palin was baptized Roman Catholic as a newborn.

Pentecostals are conservative in their reading of the Bible. Unlike most other Christians — including most evangelicals — Pentecostals believe in "baptism in the Holy Spirit." That can manifest itself through speaking in tongues, modern-day prophesy and faith healing, which includes the laying on of hands.

Maria Comella, a spokeswoman for the McCain-Palin campaign, has said Palin attends different churches and does not consider herself Pentecostal.

VooDoo Economics

2008-09-24T11:21:00.001-04:00

Snapshot

2008-09-22T17:19:00.003-04:00

A Wordpress snapshot says this is what my blog has to offer:

The Facts
Monkey Pictures
McCain
Scooby-Doo
NOLA
and Pony Rides

I think I usually live up to that.

Morning Face

2008-09-19T10:31:00.000-04:00

1. Take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with your picture.

What do these guys and I have in common?

2008-09-17T10:10:00.003-04:00

We all hate Ike.

As most folks may know by now, on Sunday, Kentucky endured its first ever category 1 storm. No one seemed to know it was coming. I know we were woefully unprepared. At first the wind was just a curiosity, one that quickly turned into an all out "Hey gang, let's stay away from the windows," fear fest.

As the storm intensified, we lost our power, and then the trees started coming down. Each majestic beloved tree instantly became a giant ticking time bomb. I watched one fall inches from my truck, screaming at Dave who was outside. I was terrified he would be squished. Luckily, the only thing that got squished was our fence. I'll have pics up soon. We lost four mature trees, a few shingles, everything in our fridge, and that poor fence.

The power on my block was restored yesterday afternoon, but our internet and cable are still down. Many grocery stores have no fresh food, so we've been eating canned things or fast food. I look forward to cooking a good hot dinner soon.

Although we have a lot of clean up work to do, I know that we are really lucky. Things could have been so much worse. We got through thanks to my penchant for buying more candles than we'll ever need, the good graces of great friends, and a whole truck load of luck.

If you have an ax and unresolved anger management issues, we could use you this weekend. Holler!

Dems the facts

2008-09-12T14:50:00.003-04:00

Also, for those who may not have noticed, I have added a new widget to my sidebar called "Nifty Shit." This box has links to some of the more interesting or bizarre things that end up in my RSS aggregator. Enjoy!

Here's a nice bit of fact-checking by the AP

2008-09-09T13:50:00.001-04:00

Attacks, praise stretch truth at GOP convention

By JIM KUHNHENN, Associated Press Writer Wed Sep 3, 11:48 PM ET

ST. PAUL, Minn. - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and her Republican supporters held back little Wednesday as they issued dismissive attacks on Barack Obama and flattering praise on her credentials to be vice president. In some cases, the reproach and the praise stretched the truth.

Some examples:

PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending ... and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a "bridge to nowhere."

PALIN: "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state senate."

THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.

Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.

He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply ... She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.

THE FACTS: McCain's phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she's no more "responsible" for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state — by population.

MCCAIN: "She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. ... She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities," he said on ABC.

THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under "federal status," which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska's national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: "We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."

THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.

Associated Press Writer Jim Drinkard in Washington contributed to this report.

Shake and cough

2008-09-08T22:58:00.002-04:00

They can call it whatever they want, but it's still a vagina coffin:

In this image released by Warner Bros. Music, the latest Metallica CD, 'Death Magnet,' is shown. (AP Photo/Warner Bros. Music)

I <3 The Daily Show

2008-09-07T11:31:00.001-04:00

I know I'm a sick fuck...

2008-09-06T11:01:00.004-04:00

...but this is freaking funny.

Man in wheelchair robs Texas 7-Eleven of condoms

Fri Sep 5, 9:57 PM ET

A robber rolled into a Dallas convenience store came armed with a bat and a knife. He left with a lot of condoms and an energy drink.

Dallas police Cpl. Kevin Janse said Friday that a man in a wheelchair entered a Dallas 7-Eleven Wednesday afternoon, rolled straight toward the cash register and beat it with a baseball bat until it opened.

But he didn't grab any cash. Instead, police say he stole 10 boxes of condoms and an energy drink before making his getaway Wednesday afternoon.

Janse says the suspect may have been homeless and was likely intoxicated at the time of the robbery.

To make up for my meanness, here's some cute shit:

Otter cub!

Kihansi Spray Toadlet! It's a toadlet! Toadlet!!

Thanks!

2008-09-03T16:37:00.002-04:00

Fae and Mags Update: They now have received enough donations to pay for their car repair. They're not home yet, but this is a big step towards getting them back to NOLA safe and sound. Thanks everyone!

My NOLA Girls Need Help

2008-09-02T21:22:00.002-04:00

If you know these ladies, please lend a hand and help spread the word!

Gustav Evacuees In Need: Help Fae & Mags

Goodbye, Jerry.

2008-09-02T15:39:00.001-04:00

Thanks for being on Scooby-Doo. I love that one.

My Motorcycle

2008-08-26T11:10:00.008-04:00

It has been brought to my attention that I have neglected to blog about my new pastime, motorcycle riding. Back in July I went to motorcycle school where I learned how to safely operate a motorcycle. It was a very rigorous 16 hour course, most of which was conducted on the bike. You jump right in to the riding, no dallying around in the classroom. Some people quit the first day, and a couple did not return the next day. Those of us who stuck it out had a great time and graduated with MSF certification. As we left after the final class, the instructor reminded us that we now know how to ride a small bike at 20 mph in an open parking lot, and to not go out and get wild just yet.

Heeding this advice, I puttered around on Dave's bike in the parking lot of the River Road Kingfish a couple of times. I found his bike to be hard to handle because of its weight and width, and I couldn't comfortably use the foot controls on the cruiser style bike. During class, I rode a standard bike, which has the foot controls directly under you, as opposed to cruiser style controls which are about a foot forward towards the handlebars. I liked the standard style a lot, so we decided to hit craigslist to get a bike just for me.

We ended up buying a lovely 1982 Honda CB750 for a song. This bike was the fastest bike in production in its day. This is actually a picture of the 1980 model, but mine looks the same.

The pictures make it look deceptively small. This bike is actually so tall that even Dave has a hard time getting both feet flat on the ground. I have to tippy toe to hold the bike up. This weekend I took it out for my first real ride, amongst actual traffic. I did okay, but my right turns need to tighten up, and I need more practice with the throttle so the engine doesn't die when I take off from a complete stop. Other than those issues, I am thrilled, excited, exhilarated, and utterly terrified to ride. Hopefully it stays that way. :)

"We shall be glad to have you, and I know you'd like it."

2008-08-24T12:35:00.002-04:00

Some folks like to refer to the angel and devil atop their shoulders for a bit of advice. I have always preferred a dose of reality. My right shoulder has had a japanese phoenix on it for a few years now. It is a tattoo that reminds me of all the things I love about life. Last night, I balanced things out by getting a tattoo on the left shoulder that represents death - the thing that gives life its momentum and purpose. I chose the black rabbit for this symbol, because I always liked how dignified and ultimately, essentially natural death was portrayed in Watership Down.

Here it is:

Courtesy of MoveOn.org

2008-08-23T23:15:00.001-04:00

Want a free Obama/Biden sticker? MoveOn's giving them away totally free--even the shipping's free. I just got mine, and wanted to share the opportunity with you.

Click here to get a free Obama/Biden sticker.

Thanks!

Dear Bush Administration,

2008-08-20T16:28:00.002-04:00

Thanks for reigniting the Cold War, you arrogant fucks.

xxx - Alisha

Leaving Las Vegas

2008-08-19T12:19:00.002-04:00

Unlike Nick Cage, I left Vegas with my hair and career intact. I also left with some great info and ideas from the New Media Expo, and some new memories with old friends.

Here is a quick pictorial of the trip:

Here's a quick shot from the room, which was decorated like an elaborately wrapped box of chocolate.

The disco party bathroom had a tv built into the mirror, a Bose sound system, and a neon pink night light that did bizarre things to my tattoos.

Here I am playing slots with The Gambler himself. I loved the random Kenny affirmations, like "You're doing great!" and "You sure know when to hold 'em!"

Did we go to a live stage show of the Price Is Right? Hell yes! Did we get to come on down? Not so much.

Some impromptu grooming occurred while under the influence.

Our beloved Queen!

Vegas before a bottle of ruby red vodka amongst friends:

And after:

Um. Yeah.

2008-08-13T00:47:00.001-04:00

Gotta live up to the name

2008-08-05T17:21:00.001-04:00

Oh HELL yes!

2008-08-03T18:04:00.001-04:00

Because I wanted to post it

2008-07-30T17:08:00.000-04:00

Evil when we are in its power is not felt as evil but as a necessity, or even a duty. - Simone Weil (1909 - 1943), Gravity and Grace, 1947

You asked for it

2008-07-28T14:24:00.003-04:00

A new post, featuring the creepiest damn thing I've seen in a loooong time. It's a cake. It's a baby. It's a cake baby!

Here's a clip of the commentary on it from the very amusing blog Cakewrecks:

But getting back to this cake - I think the worst part is that the baby is staring at me. No, really - check out the right eye. [shudder] Dang, that would be spine-tingling even if it were a real baby, you know? (And can you imagine being the person who gets served that eye? Eeeek- I'm going to give myself nightmares.) Call me finicky, but I really can't eat anything that looks like its looking at me.

Still not creeped out? Then watch the video of this cake's construction. The final few seconds are the stuff horror flicks are made of ("The eye! It's opening! Aaauggh!!!).

Seeing this cake taught me something about myself. If I were ever to be served a piece of cake carved from a realistic looking baby, I'd throw it at a bitch. Seriously.

Why not?

2008-07-24T16:21:00.005-04:00

Godzilla Unleashed!

2008-07-20T16:58:00.002-04:00

Gojira is finished. There is a bit of glare from the ointment, and the focus is a little fuzzy, but I think you get the gist of how badass this thing truly is. Who's the king, baby? :)

You will!

2008-07-18T00:31:00.001-04:00

Sod it!

2008-07-16T13:21:00.000-04:00

Photographic evidence of my Lebowski fest soddiness.

Weekend and my neck plug

2008-07-14T23:55:00.002-04:00

So it looks like I survived another Lebowski fest. For this I am most pleased. The Old Man got back home from his motorcycle trip just in time for us to face this challenging event together. Friday night was a blast. Brian Posehn was hilarious. The band that opened for him was a hot mess, but it was worth it to hear the Lebowski-themed heckling from the crowd. Saturday was hot as Hades, so I took the nocturnal approach and slept all day, making sure I was well rested for the night ahead. The Old Man, having just spent 10 days in the southwest, took the heat of the day in stride and got to hang with the lovely ladies of DCRG for a while. At the festival, we saw many familiar faces and costumes, and a few surprising new ones. My favorite new costume? The Beaver Picture. I was dressed as a lump of Medina Sod. Hot and itchy, but I am willing to suffer for my art. The Ace of Cakes guy was there, and I got to eat what I believe was cake from the severed toe area of his Lebowski themed creation. Later that evening, I got stupid drunk and danced myself silly. I still ache from it. Good times.

As far as my neck plug goes, I am thinking about getting a new hairdo. I've been working this asymmetrical thing for a while, and I'd like to stick with it, but in a new direction. Since you guys have to look at me, I'll give you a say in this process. Here's three possible new styles. Vote for the one you like best. FYI - you're voting just on the style, not the color.

Style #1

Style #2

Style #3

Happy voting!

Whew!

2008-07-07T09:44:00.002-04:00

What a weekend!

Quick notes:

Rocked out with Unknown Hinson Wednesday night. Lisa is a great date!

Got the Godzilla tatt finished Thursday night/Friday morning. Was tattooed from 11:30pm till 4:30am while listening to Tom Waits, Velvet Underground, bluegrass, and more. The closest I've been to church in a while.

Friday I laid around in pain, and Heather came over to eat dinner with me.

Saturday and Sunday I was in Motorcycle school. I spent 16 hours frying in the sun riding and learning. It was really fun. And I passed!

Thank God for a desk job, cuz I need the rest. :)

Just so you know

2008-06-20T14:54:00.002-04:00

Short Circuit is a watered down version of I, Robot.

This is worth going to hell for.

If loving you is wrong...well, this just ain't right.

And this is just because I love you all.

Tagged - Mutual of Omaha Style

2008-06-06T16:07:00.002-04:00

So, I got tagged by someone in the Lewd Enlightenment business. Here goes...

P.S. No other bloggers have been tagged in the making of this post.

What were you doing five years ago?
1.) tae kwon do
2.) working on my Master's degree
3.) working for the Lord
4.) hating President Bush
5.) picking up kids from daycare

What are five things (in no particular order) on your to-do list for today?
1.) stay awake
2.) add comments to the content review form
3.) write content for the office tech wiki
4.) check if our latest podcasts are online
5.) go home and nap

What are five snacks you enjoy?
1.) chocolate - all forms
2.) popcorn
3.) hummus
4.) macadamia nuts
5.) fruit

What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire?
1.) make Dave my house husband
2.) make sure our parents and good friends are set up nicely
3.) buy a condo in Cozumel
4.) start a charity
5.) go to work

What are five of your bad habits?
1.) nailbiting
2.) the snooze button
3.) dissing myself
4.) not balancing the checkbook
5.) carbs

What are five places you have lived?
1.) Fairdale, ky
2.) Bullitt county, ky
3.) Highlands, Louisville, ky
4.) Clifton, Louisville, ky
5.) Crescent Hill, Louisville, ky

What are five jobs you have had?
1.) media intern
2.) internal communications intern
3.) dough maker (Little Caesar's inside a Kmart)
4.) technical manual writer
5.) new media specialist

8 word poem

2008-06-06T13:11:00.000-04:00

You’re publicly weird.
I’m closet weird.

It’s scarier.

************

By Heather McClure

************

I am deeply disturbed

2008-05-28T23:39:00.001-04:00

Chinaski Tuesdays

2008-05-06T11:38:00.001-04:00

Be Kind

we are always asked
to understand the other person's
viewpoint
no matter how
out-dated
foolish or
obnoxious.

one is asked
to view
their total error
their life-waste
with
kindliness,
especially if they are
aged.

but age is the total of
our doing.
they have aged
badly
because they have
lived
out of focus,
they have refused to
see.

not their fault?

whose fault?
mine?

I am asked to hide
my viewpoint
from them
for fear of their
fear.

age is no crime

but the shame
of a deliberately
wasted
life

among so many
deliberately
wasted
lives

is.

Myanmar Disaster

2008-05-05T11:30:00.003-04:00

I am sure you all have read of the tragedy unfolding in Myanmar in the wake of the cyclone which struck this weekend. If you haven't already, I urge you to consider making a donation to an international aid organization. My favorite is UNICEF, especially in situations like this, which often leave many children homeless and orphaned. Please do what you can. Thanks.

Chinaski Tuesdays

2008-04-29T14:57:00.001-04:00

Damn. I need to get off my arse and start blogging more, lest this be nothing but a bunch of Chinaski Tuesdays.

Caratzas Wednesdays

2008-04-23T17:18:00.001-04:00

Vote for Steve! Help make our own purveyor of lewd enlightenment Poet Laureate of the blogosphere!

Chinaski Tuesdays

2008-04-22T16:24:00.001-04:00

Chinaski Tuesdays

2008-04-15T16:42:00.000-04:00

it was just a little while ago

almost dawn
blackbirds on the telephone wire
waiting
as I eat yesterday's
forgotten sandwich
at 6 a.m.
on a quiet Sunday morning.

one shoe in the corner
standing upright
the other laying on it's
side.

yes, some lives were made to be
wasted.

Done been tagged

2008-04-10T10:53:00.002-04:00

Slugger, a formerly dear friend from back in the day ;), has tagged me with an interesting challenge.

Here's the rules:

1) Write your own six word memoir
2) Post it on your blog; include a visual illustration if you’d like
3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible
4) Tag at least five more blogs with links
5) Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

My memoir: Never give up. Never surrender...mostly.

New taggees: The Old Man, The Cissy Man, The Tall Man, The Northern Man, and Modest as Cake.

Chinaski Tuesdays

2008-04-08T15:36:00.000-04:00

Rain Or Shine

the vultures at the zoo
(all three of them)
sit very quietly in their
caged tree
and below
on the ground
are chunks of rotten meat.
the vultures are over-full.
our taxes have fed them
well.

we move on to the next
cage.
a man is in there
sitting on the ground
eating
his own shit.
i recognize him as
our former mailman.
his favorite expression
had been:
"have a beautiful day."

that day i did.

Last Bout of the Spring Meet!

2008-04-04T15:19:00.001-04:00

The last bout of the spring meet is Saturday, April 5th at KFEC. Get your tix at any ticketmaster outlet. Don't miss it!

Someone get these guys a ball, for Christ's sake!

2008-04-03T11:31:00.004-04:00

A horseman (R) is chased by opponents as he drags a headless goat across the pitch in Kyrgyzstan's Kok-boru Presidential Cup in the capital Bishkek March 18, 2008. Kok-boru, or goat grabbing, is a traditional Central Asian horse game that is considered Kyrgyzstan's national sport. Players grab a goat carcass from the ground in full gallop and try to place it into their opponent's goal, who attempt to foil the attack by snatching the headless goat away and score for their side. Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan each sent four teams to part in the cup.

I pwn toddler zombies

2008-03-28T10:26:00.002-04:00

The things you can learn about yourself. I think this adds credence to my inclusion in the anti-zombie force my friend Sk8 Ninja has assembled.

31

It doesn't stop at 4,000

2008-03-26T16:34:00.000-04:00

The Real Meaning of 4,000 Dead

By LIEUT. SEAN WALSH

The passing of the 4,000th service member in Iraq is a tragic milestone and a testament to the cost of this war, but for those of us who live and fight in Iraq, we measure that cost in smaller, but much more personal numbers. For me those numbers are 8, the number of friends and classmates killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, and 3, the number of soldiers from my unit killed in this deployment. I'm 25, yet I've received more notifications for funerals than invitations to weddings.

The number 4,000 is too great to grasp even for us that are here in Iraq. When we soldiers read the newspaper, the latest AP casualty figures are glanced over with the same casual interest as a box score for a sport you don't follow. I am certain that I am not alone when I open up the Stars and Stripes, the military's daily paper, and immediately search for the section with the names of the fallen to see if they include anyone I know. While in a combat outpost in southwest Baghdad, it was in that distinctive bold Ariel print in a two-week-old copy of the Stars and Stripes that I read that my best friend had been killed in Afghanistan. No phone call from a mutual friend or a visit to his family. All that had come and gone by the time I had learned about his death. I sometimes wonder, if I hadn't picked up that paper, how much longer I would have gone by without knowing - perhaps another day, perhaps a week or longer until I could find the time and the means to check my e-mail to find my messages unanswered and a death notification from a West Point distro list in my inbox. The dead in Afghanistan don't seem to inspire the keeping of lists the same way that those in Iraq do, but even if they did it wouldn't matter; he could only be number 7 to me.

I'm not asking for pity, only understanding for the cost of this war. We did, after all, volunteer for the Army and that is the key distinction between this army and the army of the Vietnam War. But even as I ask for that understanding I'm almost certain that you won't be able to obtain it. Even Shakespeare, with his now overused notion of soldiers as a "band of brothers" fails to capture the bonds, the sense of responsibility to each other, among soldiers. In many ways, Iraq has become my home (by the time my deployment ends I will have spent more time here than anywhere else in the army) and the soldiers I share that home with have become my family. Between working, eating and sleeping within a few feet of the same soldiers every single day, I doubt I am away from them for more than two hours a day. I'm engaged to the love of my life, but it will take several years of marriage before I've spent as much time with her as I have with the men I serve with today.

For the vast majority of American's who don't have a loved one overseas, the only number they have to attempt to grasp the Iraq War is 4,000. I would ask that when you see that number, try to remember that it is made up of over 1 million smaller numbers; that every one of the 1 million service members who have fought in Iraq has his or her own personal numbers. Over 1 million 8's and 3's. When you are evaluating the price of the war, weighing potential rewards versus cost in blood and treasure, I would ask you to consider what is worth the lives of three of your loved ones? Or eight? Or more? It would be a tragedy for my 8 and 3 to have died without us being able to complete our mission, but it maybe even more tragic for 8 and 3 to become anything higher.

Chinaski Tuesdays

2008-03-25T14:09:00.003-04:00

Hey chirrens! Sorry for the radio silence, but I was away all last week visiting beautiful New Orleans for a conference. Perhaps I will share some details later. Till then, here's your much delayed Hank:

8 word poem

2008-03-17T10:02:00.001-04:00

Look
under my breath.
That's
where i sin.

Chinaski Tuesdays + Maryann bakes more than pies

2008-03-11T16:55:00.003-04:00

First off, here's Mary Ann making Bukowski proud.

And now, a poem to accompany her escapades...

Show Biz

I can't have it
and you can't have it
and we won't
get it

so don't bet on it
or even think about
it

just get out of bed
each morning

wash
shave
clothe
yourself
and go out into
it

because
outside of that
all that's left is
suicide and
madness

so you just
can't
expect too much

you can't even
expect

so what you do
is
work from a modest
minimal
base

like when you
walk outside
be glad your car
might possibly
be there

and if it is-
that the tires
aren't
flat

then you get
in
and if it
starts--you
start.

and
it's the damndest
movie
you've ever
seen
because
you're
in it--

low budget
and
4 billion
critics

and the longest
run
you ever hope
for
is

one
day.

These folks are on to something

2008-03-06T12:25:00.000-05:00

And I like it!

Chinaski Tuesdays

2008-03-04T14:30:00.000-05:00

Consummation Of Grief

I even hear the mountains
the way they laugh
up and down their blue sides
and down in the water
the fish cry
and the water
is their tears.
I listen to the water
on nights I drink away
and the sadness becomes so great
I hear it in my clock
it becomes knobs upon my dresser
it becomes paper on the floor
it becomes a shoehorn
a laundry ticket
it becomes
cigarette smoke
climbing a chapel of dark vines. . .
it matters little
very little love is not so bad
or very little life
what counts
is waiting on walls
I was born for this
I was born to hustle roses down the avenues of the dead.

Spam alot

2008-02-29T16:05:00.001-05:00

I hate to admit it, but my spam almost has me convinced to refinance my Russian bride's penis in Nigeria...

He's the reason for the season

2008-02-27T11:59:00.000-05:00

Ghost Of Barbaro Appears To Teach Nation True Meaning Of Barbaro Day

LOUISVILLE, KY—Exactly one year to the day after Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro was tragically taken from us before his time, an apparition of the beloved racehorse appeared in the morning sky to teach Americans from all walks of life about the true...

Chinaski Tuesdays

2008-02-26T11:58:00.000-05:00

Yes Yes

when God created love he didn't help most
when God created dogs He didn't help dogs
when God created plants that was average
when God created hate we had a standard utility
when God created me He created me
when God created the monkey He was asleep
when He created the giraffe He was drunk
when He created narcotics He was high
and when He created suicide He was low

when He created you lying in bed
He knew what He was doing
He was drunk and He was high
and He created the mountains and the sea and fire at the same time

He made some mistakes
but when He created you lying in bed
He came all over His Blessed Universe.

8 word poem

2008-02-22T14:26:00.001-05:00

What I learned that one time I watched Dr. Who

A boot print
doesn't
look like
a foot.

This also makes me happy

2008-02-20T14:46:00.001-05:00

To my fellow crackers, let's commiserate in our blandness.

Stuff white people like.

Chinaski Tuesdays

2008-02-19T15:06:00.000-05:00

My Groupie

I read last Saturday in the
redwoods outside of Santa Cruz
and I was about 3/4's finished
when I heard a long high scream
and a quite attractive
young girl came running toward me
long gown & divine eyes of fire
and she leaped up on the stage
and screamed: "I WANT YOU!
I WANT YOU! TAKE ME! TAKE
ME!"
I told her, "look, get the hell
away from me."
but she kept tearing at my
clothing and throwing herself
at me.
"where were you," I
asked her, "when I was living
on one candy bar a day and
sending short stories to the
Atlantic Monthly?"
she grabbed my balls and almost
twisted them off. her kisses
tasted like shitsoup.
2 women jumped up on the stage
and
carried her off into the
woods.
I could still hear her screams
as I began the next poem.
mabye, I thought, I should have
taken her on stage in front
of all those eyes.
but one can never be sure
whether it's good poetry or
bad acid.

My new most favorite thing ever!!!

2008-02-15T12:31:00.001-05:00

I LOVE THIS MAN.

Happy v-day, fuckers!

2008-02-14T15:30:00.000-05:00

This is how I show my love. Deal with it. :)

8 word poem

2008-02-13T10:50:00.001-05:00

Once
you're in heaven,
who
needs
to fly?

Chinaski Tuesdays

2008-02-12T16:08:00.000-05:00

I met a genius

I met a genius on the train
today
about 6 years old,
as he sat beside me
and as the train
ran down along the coast
we came to the ocean
and then he looked at me
and said,
it's not pretty

it was the first time I'd
realized
that.

- Charles Bukowski

A Plea To The Left Blogosphere For Aid Help For The Mid-South...

2008-02-07T14:38:00.000-05:00

From the site of Southern blogger, Monkeyfister.

I deeply appreciate the fast response from SO many of you wonderful souls.

Here's what I sent out...

Whilst we're waiting for George's Promised Prayers to roll in, down here in the Tornado-Stricken Mid-South, I might recommend some DIRECT HUMAN INTERACTION.

This Is My Best First Start To Help My Region.

As Scout Prime is to NOLA, I am, suddenly, to the Mid-South area (I LIVE here, and was Live-Blogging these horrible storms all night), and have started to get the help-ball rolling down here. Some of you know where I work. I started a Food Drive there today for the Mid-South United Way Food Bank.

As the area affected is so broad and detached, and everyone in the Country was distracted by politics last night, as yet, there is no central assistance hub set-up. So, at the link, above, you'll find the two agencies with the broadest radius to help the area right now. Both take DIRECT donations.

A small-blog swarm on that post (or this comment) would be greatly appreciated by more people than just me. I can't describe how wide-spread the damage is down here. It's enormous. The Media, per usual, is only just now waking up to the situation, after their Super-Duper-Let's-All-Wet-Our-Pants-Together- Tuesday Political Hangover. Like NOLA, these are REALLY poor folks down here, and have nothing, and nowhere to go.

A short post about this at YOUR Blog, linking either to my post, above, or directly to the two Orgs mentioned in the post above, would sure be a big help, and would be greatly appreciated by many people who are relying on help. They are all that we have right now.

I just donated a deer's worth of ground venison, along with the 100 pounds of rice and quart-sized ziplock bags that they said that they needed at the United Way Mid-South Food Bank, when I phoned them this morning. Their pantry is BARE, and I'll be loading them up with all the potatoes, rice, veggies, bags, and other staples that I can fit in my truck tomorrow.

This is serious Red State country, and a flood of help from the DFH Left would REALLY make a big difference in a number of good ways.

I thank you all in advance.

Your humble peer,

Monkeyfister

Super Make-Up Chinaski

2008-02-07T12:56:00.001-05:00

To all the amazing and talented artists in Louisville,

2008-02-01T14:04:00.000-05:00

I humbly apologize on behalf of people who should know better, but obviously don't. Once again, the Derby poster is complete ass, created by someone from out of state. This interpretation of the greatest two minutes in sports comes from some dude in New Mexico. He considers this piece an exciting abstract vision of all the great events that happen during Derby time. He sucks.

Once again, I'm sorry you all. Louisville could get something so much better from one of its own, and I am unsure why this fact keeps getting overlooked in favor of these refried slices of 80's craziness.

The gloves are off!

2008-01-28T15:50:00.001-05:00

McCain and Romney call each other the L word!

To that ignorant asshole,

2008-01-23T10:35:00.000-05:00

Who jumped on my blog and showed his ass a few weeks ago. Here's all that proof you swore didn't exist. You'd better pray to your version of "jeasus" for a new party line, dumbass.

Study: False statements preceded war

By DOUGLASS K. DANIEL, Associated Press WriterWed Jan 23, 6:43 AM ET

A study by two nonprofit journalism organizations found that President Bush and top administration officials issued hundreds of false statements about the national security threat from Iraq in the two years following the 2001 terrorist attacks.

The study concluded that the statements "were part of an orchestrated campaign that effectively galvanized public opinion and, in the process, led the nation to war under decidedly false pretenses."

The study was posted Tuesday on the Web site of the Center for Public Integrity, which worked with the Fund for Independence in Journalism.

White House spokesman Scott Stanzel did not comment on the merits of the study Tuesday night but reiterated the administration's position that the world community viewed Iraq's leader, Saddam Hussein, as a threat.

"The actions taken in 2003 were based on the collective judgment of intelligence agencies around the world," Stanzel said.

The study counted 935 false statements in the two-year period. It found that in speeches, briefings, interviews and other venues, Bush and administration officials stated unequivocally on at least 532 occasions that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction or was trying to produce or obtain them or had links to al-Qaida or both.

"It is now beyond dispute that Iraq did not possess any weapons of mass destruction or have meaningful ties to al-Qaida," according to Charles Lewis and Mark Reading-Smith of the Fund for Independence in Journalism staff members, writing an overview of the study. "In short, the Bush administration led the nation to war on the basis of erroneous information that it methodically propagated and that culminated in military action against Iraq on March 19, 2003."

Named in the study along with Bush were top officials of the administration during the period studied: Vice President Dick Cheney, national security adviser Condoleezza Rice, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, Secretary of State Colin Powell, Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz and White House press secretaries Ari Fleischer and Scott McClellan.

Bush led with 259 false statements, 231 about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and 28 about Iraq's links to al-Qaida, the study found. That was second only to Powell's 244 false statements about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and 10 about Iraq and al-Qaida.

The center said the study was based on a database created with public statements over the two years beginning on Sept. 11, 2001, and information from more than 25 government reports, books, articles, speeches and interviews.

"The cumulative effect of these false statements — amplified by thousands of news stories and broadcasts — was massive, with the media coverage creating an almost impenetrable din for several critical months in the run-up to war," the study concluded.

"Some journalists — indeed, even some entire news organizations — have since acknowledged that their coverage during those prewar months was far too deferential and uncritical. These mea culpas notwithstanding, much of the wall-to-wall media coverage provided additional, 'independent' validation of the Bush administration's false statements about Iraq," it said.

___

On the Net:

Center For Public Integrity: http://www.publicintegrity.org/default.aspx

Fund For Independence in Journalism: http://www.tfij.org/

Chinaski Tuesdays and M$M

2008-01-22T10:40:00.000-05:00

So DCRG had a photoshoot last night at the headquarters of Sophisticated Living Magazine. The man of the hour was John Wurth of Hatch Creative who stepped in at the last minute to take the shots.

Witness Maul $t. Matthews:

And now for the best part, the Chinaski:

Hot

she was hot, she was so hot
I didn't want anybody else to have her,
and if I didn't get home on time
she'd be gone, and I couldn't bear that-
I'd go mad. . .
it was foolish I know, childish,
but I was caught in it, I was caught.
I delivered all the mail
and then Henderson put me on the night pickup run
in an old army truck,
the damn thing began to heat halfway through the run
and the night went on
me thinking about my hot Miriam
and jumping in and out of the truck
filling mailsacks
the engine continuing to heat up
the temperature needle was at the top
HOT HOT
like Miriam.
leaped in and out
3 more pickups and into the station
I'd be, my car
waiting to get me to Miriam who sat on my blue couch
with scotch on the rocks
crossing her legs and swinging her ankles
like she did,
2 more stops. . .
the truck stalled at a traffic light, it was hell
kicking it over
again. . .
I had to be home by 8,8 was the deadline for Miriam.
I made the last pickup and the truck stalled at a signal
1/2 block from the station. . .
it wouldn't start, it couldn't start. . .
I locked the doors, pulled the key and ran down to the
station. . .
I threw the keys down. . .signed out. . .
your goddamned truck is stalled at the signal,
I shouted,
Pico and Western. . .
. . .I ran down the hall,put the key into the door,
opened it. . .her drinking glass was there, and a note

I still love you

2008-01-21T13:22:00.001-05:00

Chinaski Tuesdays

2008-01-15T15:31:00.000-05:00

As The Sparrow

To give life you must take life,
and as our grief falls flat and hollow
upon the billion-blooded sea
I pass upon serious inward-breaking shoals rimmed
with white-legged, white-bellied rotting creatures
lengthily dead and rioting against surrounding scenes.
Dear child, I only did to you what the sparrow
did to you; I am old when it is fashionable to be
young; I cry when it is fashionable to laugh.
I hated you when it would have taken less courage
to love.

MizHellion - Inventor of the redneck neti pot

2008-01-10T15:37:00.001-05:00

I'm sitting at my desk, and my right nostril is completely blocked.

I'm miserable.

Desperate.

So I go to the break room and get a tumbler full of water, a salt packet, and a plastic spoon.

Back in my office, I start spooning the solution into my nose. It works!

Call it MacGuyver or ghetto, I don't really care. I just hope no one saw it. =)

Chinaski Tuesdays

2008-01-08T10:51:00.000-05:00

The Blackbirds are Rough Today

lonely as a dry and used orchard
spread over the earth
for use and surrender.

shot down like an ex-pug selling
dailies on the corner.

taken by tears like
an aging chorus girl
who has gotten her last check.

a hanky is in order your lord your
worship.

the blackbirds are rough today
like
ingrown toenails
in an overnight
jail---
wine wine whine,
the blackbirds run around and
fly around
harping about
Spanish melodies and bones.

and everywhere is
nowhere---
the dream is as bad as
flapjacks and flat tires:

why do we go on
with our minds and
pockets full of
dust
like a bad boy just out of
school---
you tell
me,
you who were a hero in some
revolution
you who teach children
you who drink with calmness
you who own large homes
and walk in gardens
you who have killed a man and own a
beautiful wife
you tell me
why I am on fire like old dry
garbage.

we might surely have some interesting
correspondence.
it will keep the mailman busy.
and the butterflies and ants and bridges and
cemeteries
the rocket-makers and dogs and garage mechanics
will still go on a
while
until we run out of stamps
and/or
ideas.

don't be ashamed of
anything; I guess God meant it all
like
locks on
doors.

Makeup Chinaski

2008-01-04T13:56:00.000-05:00

hello, how are you?

this fear of being what they are:
dead.

at least they are not out on the street, they
are careful to stay indoors, those
pasty mad who sit alone before their tv sets,
their lives full of canned, mutilated laughter.

their ideal neighborhood
of parked cars
of little green lawns
of little homes
the little doors that open and close
as their relatives visit
throughout the holidays
the doors closing
behind the dying who die so slowly
behind the dead who are still alive
in your quiet average neighborhood
of winding streets
of agony
of confusion
of horror
of fear
of ignorance.

a dog standing behind a fence.

a man silent at the window.

Irreconcilable

2007-12-31T13:16:00.000-05:00

This is eight-year old Christian G. He's receiving the flag that covered the coffin of his father, a marine reservist. His daddy died for a lie. The men who sent him to war so recklessly will never know this boy's pain. Be careful who you vote for. It is literally a life or death decision.

Gojira!

2007-12-27T10:27:00.000-05:00

After three hours and one numb butt cheek, I left the tattoo parlor with the basic framework of my super bad ass Godzilla tattoo. She only did the black parts of the pic last night. The next time I go, she'll start filling in the rest of the picture with color. Yay!
For reference, you are basically looking at my whole left thigh, from hip to just above the knee. This tatt is huge!

Bookends

2007-12-26T14:55:00.000-05:00

Here is sunset from my back porch on my last day of work at my old job.

And this is sunset downtown from my first day at my new job.

All in all, I think nature approves of the change. So do I.

Chinaski Tuesdays

2007-12-25T17:57:00.001-05:00

Cut While Shaving

It's never quite right, he said, the way people look,
the way the music sounds, the way the words are
written.
It's never quite right, he said, all the things we are
taught, all the loves we chase, all the deaths we
die, all the lives we live,
they are never quite right,
they are hardly close to right,
these lives we live
one after the other,
piled there as history,
the waste of the species,
the crushing of the light and the way,
it's not quite right,
it's hardly right at all
he said.

don't I know it? I
answered.

I walked away from the mirror.
it was morning, it was afternoon, it was
night

nothing changed
it was locked in place.
something flashed, something broke, something
remained.

I walked down the stairway and
into it.

Friendly Skies

2007-12-21T10:22:00.000-05:00

Are birds flying on purpose, or just emphatically waving at lots of friends?

Chinaski Tuesdays: Wed Edition and Announcement

2007-12-19T16:23:00.001-05:00

First of all, I am excited to say that this image will be tattooed on my body Dec 26th. Bow down!

On now for something equally brutal:

Cause And Effect

the best often die by their own hand
just to get away,
and those left behind
can never quite understand
why anybody
would ever want to
get away
from
them

If'n yer available...

2007-12-18T11:23:00.000-05:00

... we're having movie night at our place again this Saturday. Come on by!

Hey ya'll.

2007-12-17T16:12:00.001-05:00

What's the funniest movie you have ever seen?

New source of happiness, shame

2007-12-12T15:48:00.000-05:00

A new blog has been started were a chosen few will be asked to post anything that makes them laugh so much they nearly pee. No exposition, and the comments are turned off. This is purely an aggregator for the absurd. If you get an invite, please add your faves!

i peed a little